Thursday, January 17, 2008


Let me start off by warning you: this is a rant, a massive homeschool momma diva rant! Last night my husband called someone to wish them a happy birthday. This is someone that we are related to, and someone that we see for about 7 hours every year, even though we live 15 minutes away. This is someone that has children basically the same ages as our own. This is someone that we should be close to.

While chatting, my husband made a passing comment that I would love to have a super cool mid-century home out in the county. Then this person proceeded to tell Don that "we needed to put the kids first for once, move to the county and finally put them into public school."

Who would say such a thing? Not even my own Mother would say that to me.

So let me break this down. According to this sage advice, we are selfish for living in the city, and for home schooling. Any one that knows anything about my life could see that home schooling is not the least bit selfish. And, why is so impossible to believe that we could have actually chosen to do this out of thoughtful concern for our children, or because we want to or because we love it?

What this person doesn't understand, is that our oldest child would not do well in public school. Not in the city, and not in the county. It is not about demographics. We are not trying to keep our children away from people who look different, or think different, or have different religious beliefs. No one has tried harder than me to find a better solution for her.

I see teaching my children at home as being the single most Unselfish thing I have ever done. I could just drop them off on someone else for 7 hours and do my work in peace. Can you imagine how successful I could become then? Martha, watch out. If anyone even thought of it that way they could not call me selfish.

I am all for people having their own opinions on education, politics, child rearing and religion. I understand fully that we will all never agree to all of it. And that is cool -- that is the key to success in this world. Hell, that might just be the answer to world peace... acceptance.

But what is really NOT OK is when some one flat out tells you that you SUCK and you are doing everything WRONG. No one can say that. NO ONE!

I try not to be spiteful person (even if it does come easily), so I won't call him up today and tell him what I think about his parenting. Even if, I thought I would love nothing more than to even the score.


Anonymous said...

You are so right - it is not ok for anyone to call you selfish. If anything you don't think about yourself enough. You know we don't see eye to eye on everything and one of them is homeschooling (ok the rest of you homeschoolers don't attack Kelly knows and we agree to disagree) however as bold and outspoken as I am I would never call you selfish. YOU ARE NOT SELFISH IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. Now there is my rant.


Anonymous said...

don't listen to the naysayers, homeschooling is surely one of the most incredibly unselfish things you can do as a momma! you should read this blog, it is written by my husband's best friend's mom who is an incredible homeschooling mom. i respect her so much, hopefully it will inspire you!

Carol said...

The fact that someone would have the nerve to say such a thing, amazes me.
I don't home-school (I don't have an opinion for or against it, for the record)but I can't imagine the amount of discipline it would take. In my book that is not a selfish act. The guy is an absolute idiot, just let his rude comment roll off your back.

lynnie said...

This person has obviously not spent enough time with you and your family. Just from the little time I've spent with you I know how incredibly hard you work and see how much you give to your kids.

And what the hell is wrong with the city? Why is it selfish to live here? We don't have long commutes that eat up gas and our (much higher) taxes help support the city schools (whether or not we send our kids there) which need our money a lot more than the schools outside the city. Maybe your friend is bored where he lives and a bit envious?

Kelly, Modern June said...

Lynn, I hear ya fellow Richmonder! All people are think of is race, politic and taxes when they think of Richmond.

Well I like the diversity, I don't give a crude about politic and taxes, well yes they are high but you just have to pay them!

Heck I have friends that have moved to the city to get out of the short pump traffic. I love that, that is funny!

To all of you thanks so much for your comments! I really had to get that off my chest. I can not and really don't want to go head to head with this person. It would do no good anyway. So thanks for being my sounding board.

Sorry for the soap box!

Silvia said...

Obviously this person is insecure in his/her own decisions and needs to find someone else to criticize in order to avoid examining his/her choices. Huh!