OK why oh why is the end all be all conversation starter how someone looks? I am all for giving someone a compliment like hey great skirt. Oh I love that shirt. But not about their size!!!
Last night my daughter Maddie greeted someone and the first thing out of this persons mouth was "wow! your eating all right" then patted her on the stomach and said "your getting a belly". SHE is 9! OMG. I did not hid my feelings. My jaw was on the floor and my eyes were blazing. Maddie caught the look of fury too.
What do I say to her. What do I say to both of them. I have already heard Maddie talking about being fat. She dropped out of dance class that this seemed to lessen. Who knows what is being said there.
I really hate the whole subject. Sometimes I am greeted with "you look good" but there is a tone and an element of surprise. And then I get "have you lost weight?"... "No in fact I gained another 5 pounds since the last time we meet" is what I want to say the these people. And guess what I am having dessert tonight!
And wow what a surprise that a woman that wears a 14 can look good. GEEZ! what a shocker.
And what about the many accomplishments that we all have achieved. for me I have home schooled two children yet another year. I have finished my first year as a business owner. What about the fact that my butt is too big. Kiss it man! I am so tired of worrying about this. I really am.
hey man leave my kid alone!
END of rant!
Someone once told my daughter the same thing when she was 12. I have never forgotten the rude comment and what is worse, neither has my daughter who is now 21. Those comments leave little scars. What I really hate is when someone greets you with how good you look and you haven't even brushed your hair yet. Sorry, I think I just had a rant of my own.
ReplyDeleteMary D in Texas
You're daughter isn't even chubby! She's just got a little tummy- probably getting ready for a growth spurt. Man- when I was a little fat kid, at least you had to be actually fat before you were encouraged to hate your body.
ReplyDeleteI think I already told you about M.'s ped, who, in response to my concerns about her picky eating, patted M.E.'s stomach and said "Well, she's not too picky". We're changing doctors. I hate that kind of bullshit.
M. just started classes at Latin Ballet. I worried about how welcome a chubby little girl would be in a ballet class, but I saw bodies of all kinds there and nobody seemed to care. M. loves her class.
Aw that's so sad. I would definitely let that person know that talking that way to your family is inappropriate and out of line!! My mother had to tell my grandmother the very same thing when I was a child. You are doing the right thing!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
Mary
I think I would have made a comment about the person in a similar vein. How rude and insensitive! Once when I was walking back to my apt in college, some guy in a jeep (the passenger) yelled at me "Hey, smile!" and I thought, why do women have to smile all the time?
ReplyDelete